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Installing a Husband

Dear Tech Support,  
Last year I upgraded from  Boyfriend 5.0  to  Husband 1.0  and noticed a distinct slow down in overall system performance, particularly in the flower and jewelry applications, which operated flawlessly under  Boyfriend 5.0.

In addition,  Husband 1.0  uninstalled many other valuable programs from my system, such as Romance 9.5  and  Personal-Attention 6.5,  and then installed undesirable programs such as NBA 5.0NFL 3.0   and  Golf Clubs 4.1.

Conversation 8.0  no longer runs, and  Housecleaning 2. 6 simply crashes the system.
Please note that I have tried running  Nagging 5.3  to fix these problems, but to no avail.  
What can I do? 

Signed,  
Desperate.

 

DEAR DESPERATE ,  

First, keep in mind,  
•         Boyfriend 5.0  is an Entertainment Package, while  Husband 1.0  is an operating system.  

Please enter command:  ithoughtyoulovedme.html  and try to download  Tears 6.2  and do not forget to install the  Guilt 3.0 update.
•         If that application works as designed,  Husband1.0  should then automatically run the applications  Jewelry 2.0  and  Flowers 3.5.  
However, remember, overuse of the above application can cause  Husband 1.0  to default to  GrumpySilence 2.5 HappyHour 7.0  or  Beer 6.1 .  
•         Please note that  Beer 6. 1  is a very bad program that will download the  Farting_and_Snoring_Loudly_Beta.  
Whatever you do,  DO NOT  under any circumstances install  Mother-In-Law 1.0  (it runs a virus in the background that will eventually seize control of all your system resources .)  
In addition, please do not attempt to reinstall the  Boyfriend 5.0 -program. These are unsupported applications and will crash Husband 1.0 .
In summary,  Husband 1.0  is a great program, but it does have limited memory and cannot learn new applications quickly. You might consider buying additional software to improve memory and performance. We recommend  
•         Cooking 3.0  and  
•         Hot Lingerie 7.7.  

Good Luck Babe! 
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